Chiang Mai (ELEPHANTS!)

As we all know, Jordan loves animals. What most don't know is that his favorite animal is the elephant!! After the severe disappointment last year when we couldn't hold the pandas (they had the flu) we decided to pull out all the stops to play with elephants on this trip.

Thailand has probably the most elephants of any country in the world, perhaps with the exception of its neighbor, Myanmar. The sad part is that most of them used to be in the circus, begging on the streets (it's a real thing, they were called "begging elephants") or abused while forced to work in the forest. We found a park that takes in these abused and mistreated elephants and tries to give them a good home with plenty of food and space to roam. Spending a day playing with elephants at Baan Chang Elephant Park was one of the coolest experiences of my life!

Baan Chang lets you "take care of" an elephant for a day for a small fee, which is basically a donation to the park. During your day, you get to feed, ride, and bathe your elephant! (you could order one elephant per person or split one between two people. obviously we each had to have our own elephant). While I forget the name of mine, she was sooo cute!

This is me feeding her. 

Jordan decided to feed the feisty one. Apparently only the mahout can get close to her because she loses her mind. Clearly!!

 This one was much gentler. 

After a long feeding (they must have eaten 100lbs of sugar cane a piece), we were ready to learn how to get on the elephant. The mahouts speak a specific language to the elephants to get them to do things. NON LONG means - get down on one knee and let me climb up your leg! After a few shouts, Jordan scaled the elephant.

I boarded mine as well.  Such cute big floppy ears! 

The elephants were so cute we just couldn't stop petting them. 

After a long training session, we were permitted to ride the elephants. We learned the the commands for GO (pay), and TURN (we don't remember anymore), they let us drive elephants. Here is Jordan doing so.

My mahout was either trying to embarrass me or was just trying to make me smile (see: hat on my head - it's made out of a leaf!). Either way was fine with me. 

My elephant was a wanderer and was HUNGRY. She continuously wandered off the path to get non-approved foliage dinners. What can I say, she was starving. 

Here is us being happy after riding elephants. 

Perhaps one of the most fun parts of this day was playing with the elephants in the mud pit. We stood on them, scrubbed them, rolled around with them, aaaand....

 were sprayed by them!! I felt childish the whole time. And it felt so right. 

This was a great experience and I highly recommend it to animal lovers everywhere. It was a little expensive, but completely worth it. And a good cause, to boot. 

Oh, and this was in the "city" of Chiang Mai, which is the second largest city in Thailand. They have a lot of temples. This is the cool one. 

Also, they had a SURPRISING amount of gay night life. We went to a bar/massage parlor and made a bunch of friends. Cheers to Thai friends!

Paradise Shlep

We are in Koh Tao now, a secluded beach in Thailand. And when i say secluded, I mean it. First a Flight to koh samui, which is really out of the way, then a shuttle to the ferry pier, then a 2 hour ferry to the island. 

The airport was the cutest thing ever. Basically a thatched hut. We were greeted on the runway (no jet bridges here, obviously) by these adorable shuttles. Note our colorful Bangkok Airways plane in the background. My new favorite airline, btw. Free lounge access on ALL flights - yes, please! 

Ferry pier:

Here is where we were on the ferry:

For perspective:

You have to be really committed to get to this island, which keeps the tourists under control for the most part. But it is worth the wait. Our beach:

What we just ate at our cabana:

View from our restaurant at dinner last night:

Basically, this is the coolest place ever and we want to quit our jobs, cash out our 401ks and open a bar on the beach. Sigh. More on Koh Tao later. Also we will post on Myanmar and Chiang Mai. 

IWP

Per my father's request, photographic evidence that Thailand = bandages and crutches for white people.

It also means backpacks EVERYWHERE.  It would be annoying if I hadn't done the exact same thing in my youth. However, these guys are pretty old to be doing it if you ask me. 

The Land of Injured White People (Thailand)

(picture is to display the Thai language, which, I am sure makes sense to them)

Jordan and I joke that most of the foreigners (mainly the gweilos) that wander Thailand are injured. Injuries range from broken legs, sprained ankles, and arms in casts to large scrapes and bleeding wounds covered in bandages. There are many possible causes for this, but really I think it is explained as "holiday callousness." Europeans love to holiday in Thailand because of the weather and rampant shenanigans. What they don't expect is that no one holds your hand in Thailand  - you have to watch out for that hole in the sidewalk! (or oncoming vehicle, or broken road, or rebar protruding from a building, or that wreck you were in because you decided to take a motorcycle taxi or rent a mo-ped even though you have never driven anything with less than three wheels). Yes, Thailand is pretty much anything goes, and you need to have what Jordan has termed "constant vigilance."

Going against our better judgement, we decided to tempt fate and ride a Tuk Tuk, an open-aired, three-wheel, death trap. Partly because it was convenient, but mostly because you HAVE to do it once in Thailand. Tuk Tuks have three wheels, so they are one notch safer than the motorcycle taxis as far as we are concerned. Here is evidence:

I think what people really go to Thailand for is CHEAP AMAZING FOOD. Well, cheap anything really. But as far as food goes we got spoiled by the end - if we paid more than $3 for anything we thought we were getting ripped off, and we were probably right. Take, for example, this coconut, which was 20 bat ($0.66). The boy behind the stand literally hacked off the top for Jordan in 4 swipes. I tried not to let it bother me that he could not possibly have been any older than 12.

Besides cheap food, Thailand also has cheap CRAP! Now, we are expert crap shoppers, having gallivanted through China last year. But this crap is different. It is cheaper, and surprisingly, it is NOT CRAP! Jordan and i went nuts at the world's largest outdoor market, Chatuchak Market. We walked out (both times) with shopping bags full of not-crap, not spending more than $20 per visit. Of course the place is swarmed and hot and miserable, but for some reason we were unphased. 

Here is one of the "inside" corridors. When I say inside, i mean it loosely - i think the roof is made of tin sheets. 

Here is one of the outside corridors. It is hard to appreciate the grandeur, but I assure you it is impressive. 

And, of course, Thailand's REAL claim to fame is their Buddhist temples. We only went to one - Pho Wat, but it was a doozey! Perhaps best known for its giant lazy buddah on his side, Pho Wat is impressive! 

These are for perspective. He is huge. If I had to guess, maybe 30 meters? 

Thai temples are unique because of their tiered, pointy... steeples? idk what they are technically called, but here they are.

The buildings all had beautiful detail. 

So grand, it inspired Jordan to meditate. 

There were so many little steeples they create a skyline!

All good things come in threes - Thailand can be summed up by: temples, markets, and night life! We won't go into the latter in detail here, but let's just say that until 1 AM, pretty much anything goes in Thailand - and they are not shy about it. For us, it was refreshing to be in a place where the gay scene is completely different from the straight scene and hidden away in a dark corner. No, here, all scenes are hidden away in a dark corner. But everyone knows they are there and no one cares. This street was excellent for people watching, which we did... for a few hours. 

Thailand - rich and poor in so many ways. The best part about it is that the people seem happy, and don't seem to be bothered by the millions of foreign tourists infesting their country in search of cheap meals, cheap goods, and cheap thrills. And, as one of them, I cannot blame them. Jordan and I decided we would welcome the opportunity to live in Thailand for a while, but we would surely live like kings and become completely spoiled. I dare you to spend more than $3 on any one dish at a restaurant! 

Four thumbs up. 

Obligatory picture of their "subway" or elevated railway called the BTS. It worked well enough. They have a fast airport train, too.