What Were We Thinking? (Overnight Train to Bagan)

When we decided to go to Myanmar we did just a little research regarding what to do. Literally, we did very little research, and what we ended up with was a short list of MUST dos. Besides Yangon, which is the only real point of entry into the country, Bagan is the obvious other choice for the in-and-out traveler. We added it to our list and went from there.

The first lesson we learned about doing sightseeing in Myanmar is that you must book everything through a travel agent. The country does not do e-business like the rest of the world. You can't book stuff on hotels.com (go ahead - try searching any dates in Yangon), you can't priceline, you can sometimes agoda, but that is it. After some research, we found a reputable sounding agency - Exotic Myanmar (exoticmyanmar.com). Our agent Wityee (this is a female name, btw) was very helpful and after many exchanges, all obviously piped through Google Translate, she conveyed to us our options as far as sight seeing and transport. She did not mention trains.

After googling around a bit we discovered blog posts about taking the overnight train between Yangon and Bagan. All the blog posts were about how terrible and bumpy it was. Well, as soon as we saw some footage on youtube we were sold. Following that, our friend Andy linked us to an episode Anthony Bourdain where he apparently was feeling as suicidal as us. (skip to 27:00)

After a night in Yangon, we made our way (slowly and confusedly - with the assistance of a 12 year old girl who spoke English really well) to the train station. We were two of four westerners in a crowded, busy, primitive train station. We stuck out like a sore thumb. It felt like we were in India or somewhere equally as 3rd world and ridiculous.

The signs were very helpful. This message was everywhere - warmly welcome and take care of tourists. Yes, Myanmar is open for business and will warmly accept your unwrinkled US Dollars.

The train station itself was charmingly old world - it certainly had the aesthetic feel of a 1950s British colonial train station. The safety measures were nonexistent and the track gage was narrow. We got a kick out of walking all over the tracks. It also was not uncommon for people to board trains while they slowly moved through the station, or departed from the station. 

In Myanmar, they have "Ordinary Class" and "Upper Class."

Ordinary class looks something like this (also seen more clearly in the Anthony Bourdain video)

Naturally, we were in upper class and had a sleeper. The sleeper cars were $60 per person, which was way too much to pay for the ordinary Myanmar citizen. Obviously, us and the other two foreigners were the only schmucks that bought sleeper tickets. 

They certainly welcomed us warmly to the train - the station master doted on us, directing us during the three track changes, and informing us that the train was only one hour late to depart that day! The best part of our welcome was the comfort package they offered us - a "honey bear" fuzzy blanket and two bars of hotel soap. 

But...the best part about booking this train was actually the ticket. Even that was charmingly primitive. Note the hand writing and "official stamps."

For reasons beyond explanation, the ticket agents put all four foreigners in the same cabin, despite the 10 other empty rooms on the car. It wasn't the worst thing - you have to be ready to make new friends when you travel in places like this. And they can take pictures for you!

The accommodations were as luxurious as they look in this photo. 

The train was a disaster up and down. From the haphazard ticket checking to the terrible, bumpy ride. But the countryside we saw from the window was rewarding - we got a glimpse into the real Myanmar. Real Myanmar looked like...

Makeshift volleyball/soccerball

Rice patties and shanties

Piles of cars, 30 years beyond their useful lives. 

More shanties

More rice patties with beautiful hilly backdrops 

Palm trees galore!

We felt like puppies. Here is Jordan with his head out the window. 

The best part of the trip for a transport geek, though, was the "signal system" they used at RR crossings. This system involved several men who stopped traffic and manually lowered the gates. We weren't sure if they just waited around all night for the train of if they were onboard and jumped off to lower the gates. 

Part way through the journey we had a pleasant surprise visit from the train's cook - yes, cook. He asked us what we wanted to eat for dinner (?!?!?). Apparently the restaurant car was open and ready to serve us. The meal was standard, but tasty for transport-food. We shared the car with the government officials and train workers. 

These were our Irish & Danish friends. Mingalabar! 

The beer was flowing and absolutely necessary to pass the time. Myanmar Beer is actually tasty, and much better than its competitor, Mandalay Beer. 

It was from the dining car that the true rocky nature of the journey revealed itself. Looking down the train cars (which you could do, because there were no doors) you could see the violent bumps and jerks of the terrible narrow gage tracks and train cars from 1960. The government officials didn't seem to mind. 

Speeding through the night I stared out the window, as I often do on trains. But this was different. This was a magical experience. Staring out the window you couldn't see any lights. Just the silhouette of shanties and trees flying by. It took me back and, once again, sent my brain to Africa. 

After a long, bumpy, sleepless night, the sun peeked through the window. Jordan slept like an only mildly disturbed baby, as he had the bottom bunk. The top, I assure you, was far less comfortable. 

We awoke the next day to beautiful scenery, and other silly only-in-myanmar scenes...

Such as children playing on the tracks

And women selling Myanmar-style samosas from their head.

As we pulled into the station in Bagan, we were greeted by our tour guide ($25 per day). The guide celebrated our arrival and looked ecstatic. We were three hours late and we were terribly mad. The guide smiled and said "you were only 3 hours late! the train yesterday arrived at 5 PM!" (8 hours late). Apparently it is not uncommon for this 634 kilometer (400 miles) to take 24 hours. 

This train ride was a fun, once in a lifetime experience. I will never do it again. 

Weird Myanmar (Yangon/Rangoon)

"Off the grid" was the impression I had of Myanmar before we arrived (see: little to no civilization from the plane shot above). I had only heard stories of how weird and disconnected the country was from the rest of the world. I heard tales of flat money, weird beer, dusty streets, and men dressed in skirts. These are the small but important things that set Burma/Myanmar apart.

Despite all that, I decided that if, and only if, Myanmar lacked Coca-Cola, would I officially deem it to be "off the grid" and untouched by evil western capitalist conglomerates (and civilization). We will get to the conclusion of this thought later.

When we arrived, the most shocking and apparent difference was, well, the skirts the men wear. They are called longyis. They wear them loud, they wear them proud, and frankly, I was kinda into it.

Jordan was even more into it. We bought about four of them, and would be happy to demonstrate for anyone that wants it. We also anticipate having longyi parties in our apartment back in NY. 

The second most shocking thing was the yellow paint that women wear on their faces. After some wikipediaing and asking around, we learned that the paint is both for beauty and sun protection! apparently it is a natural SPF. Nonetheless, the paint is prolific and noticeable. (please note that the photo below was taken at a tourist bridge, and we decided that the people with paint were most likely Chinese tourists trying to fit in. But regardless, the paint on the faces is real, though typically not used all over the face, just on both cheeks)

The women almost uniformly wore the face paint. It transcends people of all faiths (buddhists and muslims are the only real religions there, but I will get to that later).

The next bit of shock, and perhaps the most shocking and indicative of their dysfunction, is the fact that they drive on the right side of the road, but their steering wheels are ALSO on the right. While this is just odd in appearance, it is actually really dangerous in practice! This means they almost always need a person in the passenger seat to help them make left turns. After some questioning, we learned that they have pretty much done this to themselves. As a British colony, they drove on the left side of the road. Once the junta took over, they were having none of those shenanigans, and overnight they (literally) switched driving to the right hand side. This is when the habit started (1960s). It is continued to this day by the fact that, given the international sanctions, only three countries will do business with Myanmar - Japan, China, and Thailand. Japan sells Myanmar their second hand cars, and since they drive on the left, their drivers are on the right side of the car. Thus the problem continues.

And the most shocking thing about Myanmar is that they choose not to participate in the world of cell phones (unless you are somehow attached to the government and have access to their super-exclusive, primitive cell network). People there cannot afford cell phones or the plans they require. If you see someone with a cell phone, they are likely super well-off compared to other Burmese/Myanmar people, which also means the government "allows" them to have one. In our modern world, even Burmese people can't leave their house and be out of touch with the world. They need constant contact, just like us. Their solution to this problem is the "phone stand." This is exactly what it sounds like - a stand with analog, hard-wired telephones, staffed by an industrious girl sitting under an umbrella. These stands act as "mobile phones" and for a small fee (250 kyat or $0.25) people could make or receive calls. Evidence below.

Note the luxurious rubble pile behind this telephone stand, and the not-so-state-of-the-art bus passing in the background.

Another fun thing that makes Myanmar weird is that nearly all large-scale business is conducted in US Dollars. That's right, the country with the strictest, most restrictive, severe sanctions on the military junta government is the same country the locals put their faith in for economic stability. What's more, until recently, there was absolutely NO access to US dollars in the country, and if you didn't have any $, they would not do business with you. On top of that, they would ONLY accept unadultered, not-folded, completely smooth, large-quantity, brand new, dollar bills. I am talking $100's or $50's only (for a good rate). With this in mind, we had Jody bring $1000 in crisp, clean $100 bills. He did a great job - only one of them was rejected!

Apparently, starting in May, ATM's were introduced in Myanmar. Our efforts were unfortunately for naught, but we still had fun acting like high-rolling drug lords smuggling large sums of cash into a 3rd world country.

All the oddities aside, Yangon was a fascinating place, full of interesting things such as:

Streets like this (again, reminds me of Africa)

Giant Golden Stupas like this:

Children monks:

Big bunches of asparagus like this: 

Open air barbers:

Another odd and interesting thing about Myanmar is that nearly EVERYONE chews this seed/leaf concoction of betel leaf and areca nut called Paan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paan). The mixture is said to have stimulant properties, and comes from the biblical era. Regardless of its emotional/mental effect, it turns the teeth of anyone who chews it bright red (and it seemingly rots your teeth, leaving you with just nubs after excessive chewing). While wandering the streets of Yangon, an observant pedestrian that looks down at the broken sidewalk would see bright red spots resembling blood all over. These are the remnants of the Paan after its use. We tried this mixture, but were not really sold on it. 

Myanmar has historically been a unique place in the world where different cultures could coexist. Military junta ethnic cleansing aside, many varied cultures and ethnicities live side by side in the country. The country changed its name from Burma to Myanmar for this very reason (so we are told) - not everyone in Myanmar is Burmese, so why call it Burma?? Just walking around we saw some obvious variations in cultures. As an example, we saw many muslims walking around Yangon, and mosques abound! One of the most interesting tidbits of ethnic diversity is the Jewish temple in Yangon. Once a large community of Iraqi Jews granted asylum in Rangoon, there were 25,000 Jews in the city. Now, for various reasons, this population has diminished to just 25. Despite this, the temple in Yangon - Musmeah Yeshua Synagogue - is meticulously looked after by Moses Samuels. The temple was a charming reminder that we all can coexist, regardless of the oppressive forces in power. 

Despite being well-kept, the empty temple was a sad reminder that people still struggle to retain their culture and heritage. It also gave us hope that one man could sustain such a beautiful and treasured symbolic place. Way to go, Moses!! (he's mute, too! can you imagine??) 

That about sums up Myanmar. Astoundingly accommodating, but palpably oppressive. The Lonely Planet assures travelers to this corner of the world that, despite what you may think, at some point or another, the government will be watching you and noting your whereabouts. This place has a long way to go, but the spirit of the people reassures the world that they are present, and they are ready to participate (example: there were signs all over Yangon saying WARMLY WELCOME AND TAKE CARE OF TOURISTS). It is a fascinating place, full of dust, longyi skirts, old buildings, beautiful buddhist temples, varied religions, and a fascist government. As it opens up to tourists (which it only has been for the last few years), it will surely change. We saw evidence of this change while there through the newly furnished ATMs and the Mastercard signs plastered all over the airport - Mastercard was the first and is the only credit card accepted at VERY few places in Myanmar. 

And for those of you wondering, after asking around, we discovered that until two months prior to our visit (just missed it!), Coca-Cola was smuggled across the border from Thailand. It is now legal to import, making this quite possibly the last place to enter the 21st century. 

The only real mass-transit in Yangon was the bus, which were circa 1950. And apparently their doors don't close. 

Chiang Mai (ELEPHANTS!)

As we all know, Jordan loves animals. What most don't know is that his favorite animal is the elephant!! After the severe disappointment last year when we couldn't hold the pandas (they had the flu) we decided to pull out all the stops to play with elephants on this trip.

Thailand has probably the most elephants of any country in the world, perhaps with the exception of its neighbor, Myanmar. The sad part is that most of them used to be in the circus, begging on the streets (it's a real thing, they were called "begging elephants") or abused while forced to work in the forest. We found a park that takes in these abused and mistreated elephants and tries to give them a good home with plenty of food and space to roam. Spending a day playing with elephants at Baan Chang Elephant Park was one of the coolest experiences of my life!

Baan Chang lets you "take care of" an elephant for a day for a small fee, which is basically a donation to the park. During your day, you get to feed, ride, and bathe your elephant! (you could order one elephant per person or split one between two people. obviously we each had to have our own elephant). While I forget the name of mine, she was sooo cute!

This is me feeding her. 

Jordan decided to feed the feisty one. Apparently only the mahout can get close to her because she loses her mind. Clearly!!

 This one was much gentler. 

After a long feeding (they must have eaten 100lbs of sugar cane a piece), we were ready to learn how to get on the elephant. The mahouts speak a specific language to the elephants to get them to do things. NON LONG means - get down on one knee and let me climb up your leg! After a few shouts, Jordan scaled the elephant.

I boarded mine as well.  Such cute big floppy ears! 

The elephants were so cute we just couldn't stop petting them. 

After a long training session, we were permitted to ride the elephants. We learned the the commands for GO (pay), and TURN (we don't remember anymore), they let us drive elephants. Here is Jordan doing so.

My mahout was either trying to embarrass me or was just trying to make me smile (see: hat on my head - it's made out of a leaf!). Either way was fine with me. 

My elephant was a wanderer and was HUNGRY. She continuously wandered off the path to get non-approved foliage dinners. What can I say, she was starving. 

Here is us being happy after riding elephants. 

Perhaps one of the most fun parts of this day was playing with the elephants in the mud pit. We stood on them, scrubbed them, rolled around with them, aaaand....

 were sprayed by them!! I felt childish the whole time. And it felt so right. 

This was a great experience and I highly recommend it to animal lovers everywhere. It was a little expensive, but completely worth it. And a good cause, to boot. 

Oh, and this was in the "city" of Chiang Mai, which is the second largest city in Thailand. They have a lot of temples. This is the cool one. 

Also, they had a SURPRISING amount of gay night life. We went to a bar/massage parlor and made a bunch of friends. Cheers to Thai friends!